Mum and baby class anxiety got me real good

I can hear the screaming now, the fractious and unsettled behavior of my baby as a new mum was enough to put the most chilled out person on edge! 

I remember all too well the anxiety and screaming of my baby at every baby class we went too.

The screaming, the endless screaming! Oh and the embarrassment and anxiety that I felt on top; I was a nervous wreck. It was nothing to do with any of the classes we attended, they were and still are brilliant.

But I used to sit there with an unhappy child and think to my self "why wont my baby smiley, laugh and enjoy this?" I used to look around the room at all the other mums having a lovely bonding time and feel like I had failed. I questioned what was the point. 

No wonder postnatal depression hit me hard! 

I continued to go to the mum and baby sensory classes, baby music classes, rhyme time and baby swimming lessons because:

A. all my friends I have made in our local Basingstoke NCT group were going, and,

B. it was either go or sit at home and cry and feel FOMO. 

But my best mate Bekki will tell you, I was that mum at those baby classes with the most unsettled and unhappy child ever. 

Oscar would scream through songs, through everything. He was so unhappy and just screamed. 

Who knows why but ultimately he just wanted to be picked up and cuddled. perhaps it was too over stimulating for him, too loud, too cold, too much. I wonder if his silent reflux didn't help, laying flat on the floor after a feed whilst I jiggled some bells in his face probably wasn't the best!

But: I wish I knew then, what I know now. 

In truth he didn't care two hoots if the class was for me or him. He just wanted to either be left alone to sleep or in the comfort of my own arms. 

Bekki however had a grand time with Toby and did her absolute best to comfort me in the process. . 

I should have done more for me and put myself first.

Yes it sounds very selfish to say that but in hindsight so long as Oscar was happy and entertained he didn't care what we were doing and he certainly doesn't recall anything that we did together now. 

But I can I do, I can recall it all... Oh the screams! and this feeling and memory sits with you, long term, the guilt panic and worry doesn't go. its there.  

I used to have huge anxiety at the pressure of taking my child to a class, a class where I spent the majority of the time on high alert and stressed to keep him happy but in reality neither of us were happy. 

Which is why I am so passionate about making mum happy.

Now I use these experiences to fuel the atmosphere in my own classes and it has become a part of the make up of MummaBfit. 

If baby is happy then mum is happy! FACT! 

I want you, mum, to be able to do whatever you need to do for baby so that you get to relax and enjoy yourself and do something for you. 

Therefore in class if baby needs holding then everything is adapted so mum can do so. 

Judgement... absolutely no judgement allowed at Mummas; we don't do clicky unfriendly groups; sideways glances, looks, eyerolls and staring is allowed! I doesn't help the situation does it? 

At the Basingstoke barn HQ I have slings, swing chairs, rockers, sleep pods, bouncy chairs, play mats, space for car seats and prams. Emily's classes are slightly different in that she workouts out of various halls and is limited on what she can carry. But still we do our absolute best to ensure we do everything we can and provide what we can so mum and baby can relax. A lot of Emily's mums bring whatever they need. 

I have been there, I feel your anxiety and I have experienced what you are afraid of so we do our absolute best to combat it. 

Please don't sit there feeling miserable, fed up and consumed with worry.

This is why mummas is perfect; you can do something for you, where baby comes too and is well catered for and focused on. 

If you are like I was and that mum sat in a baby class with a screaming child, feeling fed up and questioning if you are doing it right. I promise you are. It may not feel it but you are. Every mother around you is questioning themselves in their own way. Every mother around you has anxiety and is worried. Everyone is winging it and every one is doing everything in their power to avoid yet another meltdown! 

You are no alone and this too shall pass.

Vicky xx 

BEFORE YOU GO...