Note to self; children copy everything! 

So just a short one from me today, to be honest I would have shared this on social media but it was too long to post.

I had an epic parenting fail this week which has caused many laughs in class and again to my mailing list when I told them! 

Allow me to paint the scene, I am single parenting as hubby is away, Oscar is downstairs with Elliot and I am upstairs putting an over tired and screaming Ollie to bed. 

Suddenly there is a crash downstairs followed by Elliot shouting “FUCKING HELL!” 

 Yes, my 4 year old shouted "Fucking Hell!"

Now I am of no illusion where he has learnt this from; I swear like a trooper. Oscar never repeated it and I kinda forgot there was a strong chance Elliot would.

Anyways… I demanded Elliot came upstairs and excuse the language, I bollock him for using those words and send him straight to clean his teeth and get ready for bed. I tell him there will be no story for such bad behavior.

This triggers an epic meltdown from Elliot, one which I am not in the mood for but to give him his credit he does get ready for bed without further intervention. 

I put Ollie to bed and in doing so calm down a little and realise this is my own doing. Like I said, I am of no illusion here.

Feeling a lot calmer I then go into his room and find Elliot completely ready for bed but looking really sad. So I sit down with him and give him a big cuddle.

I explain to him rationally that it’s a naughty word, only adults say it and he must never repeat it. We talk it through and I tell him how proud of him I am of him for getting ready for bed so well (normally he would have stood screaming) and tell him he can have a story. However...

The following conversation goes like this... 

Me: Els I am so proud of you, thank you for getting ready for bed and stopping your crying. Well done, good boy. 

Els: I am a good boy? 

Me: Yes, you got ready for bed so well. 

Els: But I am not a good boy if I say fucking hell. 

Me: No you are not 

Els: So good boys don’t say fucking hell? 

Me: No. 

Els: Only big boys say fucking hell? 

Me: Yes 

Els: But I am a big boy. 

Me: No, Oscars a big boy and you are not, only a little boy. Now please stop saying those words. 

Els: What words? Good boy or Fucking Hell? 

You can see how this panned out!

Anyways, I felt we finally put the matter to bed...

Until the next morning.

Again, more conversation went like this… 

Me: You ate all your breakfast, good boy! 

Els: But I wasn’t a good boy last night? 

Me: No, only for one little thing. 

Els: Because I said fucking hell? 

Me: Yes. Now put your shoes on like a good boy. 

Els: ok, but I won’t be a good boy if I say… 

Me: STOP! Just put your shoes on. 

We arrive at this childminder and the first thing Elliot said to her was “I wasn’t a good boy because I said….” 

Oh my!

Honestly, You couldn't make this up! 

Although those that know both me and Elliot will not be surprised! 

One of my mums said her friend had to go for positive parenting courses because her daughter told the teacher her mum said “fuck my life”  So god knows what's in store for me!  

Anyways to top off my awesome parenting; on Friday I also forgot Ollies water bottle in class, forgot to put his bum cream on nappy rash that is really bad, poured dairy milk over his cereal (he’s allergic and I caught it in time) and splattered ambosol teething liquid into his eye by accident. 

Seriously… I am up for mother of the year award over here!! - said with serious tongue in cheek. 

So, if you’ve had a bad week I hope my child’s “fucking hell” adventures have made you chuckle. 

Have a great week,

Vicky xx

Oh and to top things off, Oscar, my 12 year old walked past just after the incident and whispered to me with a smile “you had that coming” before diving out of the way as I threw my slipper at him! I missed! 

Mum and baby postnatal exercise classes in Basingstoke, Ash and Farnham! 

If this has made you chuckle then come along to classes, where I do limit my potty mouth! mum and baby exercise classes suitable for all where afterwards we have a chuckle and a good old "put the world to rights" moan and groan about parenting over a cuppa!